First person survey for: Eddie the Maniac

Name Given at Birth: Edward Worthington

Nicknames: Ed, Eddie

Hometown or where you were born: London

Current Residence: I have a very nice little cage all to myself inside the Bordello.

Age: 51 (28 years in the Bordello)

Class: First class madman

Are you dead or alive? I only wish I were dead. DEAD! You’re Dead! Why can’t I die?!

If dead, how did you die or how were you sired? Death is only a dream, and dreams died a long time ago, no dreams, no death, no death, no death

Short term goal: Food, just reach the roll there on the table… stretch a little further… no… no use the foot, legs… are… longer… just reach some food!

Long term goal: Freedom, open sky, stars, moon. Oh to see the Sun, sweet life bringing sun, They don’t allow the sun, They hate the sun, that’s why I love the sun, find the sun, save yourselves.

What do you do, your main function in life/society? I… SCREAM!!!! No, damn it, I used to be more than this, I, I, used to be respected, they, the people, they called me Sir and I walked proudley. But now, I… hehe… I just… he… just SCREAM!!! Heheheheheheh

Have you ever taken a life? I don’t want to think about it, don’t make me remember, so many, all of them, them, Them, They, They made me kill, They said to take the blood, I had to take the blood. THEY WILL KILL ALL OF YOU! Why are you still here?

Have you ever committed or been convicted of a crime? *blinks*… and they call me crazy, OF COURSE I’VE COMMITTED CRIMES!!!! Horrible, ghastly crimes, crimes, crimes, murder, slaughter, torture, butchery.

Closest friends/How did you meet? Bert would be my closest friend. Many years ago, when I was like Ancel, when I served, and still had some respect, Bert was not nearly as crazy as he is now (hehe, Bert is crazy, did you know that?) In hard times we became friends, at least I think we are friends, he never really said , I call him friend. I call Ancel my friend too. He’s the only friend who is sane enough to know it, I just wonder if I’ve made it clear that he is my friend. After all I share his pain, and soon, soon he will share my insanity. Then he’ll be like Bert, poor poor Bert, I wonder if Bert knows he’s crazy?(Hey Bert! Did you know you’re crazy?!)

Pets: I have ten pets, I call them toes. They’re very nice well behaved toes. My duty is to keep them warm, they get cold and turn blue and sad.

Favorite food: FOOD! WHERE! GIMMIE!

Favorite place to relax: The left side of my cage, no not the right, the right doesn’t like me much, it’s always been mean and gives me nasty splinters.

Favorite Drink: No RED, No RED Drink, the red drink is bad, don’t drink the red drink, They like the red drink, never get enough, if you drink the red drink you’ll be like Them.

What's your bedtime? When Ancel tells me to sleep

What, if anything, do you usually wear on your feet? My pets

Are you married or single? Not single, there are four of us, and one on the way

Do you have a family / who are they: No, no, no, no, I have no family, if I have no family They can’t hurt them, I left them all behind, I have no family for Them to torture, that’s why They have me, leave them be.

Favorite Entertainment: Playing with my pets, they tickle.

Most Humiliating Moment: Every moment I still live.

Proudest Moment: I saved her soul, though it cost me mine.

What do you look for in the opposite sex? One without teeth who will free me from my cage.

In our Hierarchical Society everybody has somebody "over" them, who is your immediate "overlord"? Ancel, for now, until he joins us then we get a new master, hope the new master will be nice like Ancel is.

How do you feel about that person? Eddie likes Ancel, Ancel brings food and water, and Ancel keeps the creatures away.

Favorite sport to watch: When one gets away, oh They get so angry, it’s funny until They hurt us for it, we didn’t let them go.

Do you remember your first kiss? It’s one of the few memories They left me. She said that it would be torture to remember, but thinking of it reminds me of a happier time. Her name was Heather, as was the scent of her favorite oil. Not only was she my first kiss, but she was my love, my bride to be. It was for her protection that I started to serve, They wanted to take her from me, and They wanted her to be like them. So They got me instead. It was all for her, for my Heather. I was her last kiss as well, for I kissed her just before They made me drain the blood from her body. The true torture is the way they keep me alive, keep me from joining my Heather again.

Do you keep in touch with your childhood friends? Childhood? Childhood? Hmm, nope, don’t remember, sorry can’t help you, but could you try to help me?

Do you have dirt/mud floors or stone? Cold splintery wood, splinters in feet, splinter in pets, no warmth.

What is your bed made of? A cage

How many people sleep in your bed? Only 11, it’s just my pets and I.

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10 Things Everybody Should Know About Me:

1. Hmm let’s think ‘bout this now, 10 things e’erybody should know about poor little Eddie. That’s what They call me by the way is poor little Eddie, I don’t really know why I don’t consider meself to be all that poor, I have e’erything I need, me clothing, me self, and me pets. Me pets? Oh how could you not notice me pets, they’re well behaved little buggers. Names? Oh sure they got names, I call them George, Rufus, Barky, Paul, Ralph, Simon, Jeffy, Peter, Dick, and Konstantine, he’s me special pet cause he’s the smallest so I gave him the biggest name, now the others don’t pick on him so much. I know what’s like to be picked on and it’s not fun at all, that’s why I like Ancel, he don’t pick on poor little Eddie at all, nope, nope, nope.

5. Hey what are you doin here? They’re planning on a killing you all. They said that from the beginning and yet you all came, huh, and they call me crazy. Who’s crazy, I’m not crazy, I hav’nt been crazy for 10 years now, but Bert, now he’s crazy, been here forever, ain’t never come round. Oh sure his cage circles round sometimes but that ain’t the kind of round I’m talkin bout if’n you catch me drift. He just never seemed to recover like I did, I think it has something to do with that strange necklace he’s always wearin won’t take it off for nothing, hmm, mine, oh no it’s not like his at all, The Mistress she gave me mine special when we first met, don’t know where Bert got his, but it gives me the willies.

9. Shhh, don’t talk to me, you’re not here, you are just a figment o me imagi..imagi… me figurin. No, I can’t talk to you, the Last time Mistress Bridget caught me talkin to som’one who wasn’t really there, she gave me the worst beatin she’s e’er given anyone I’ve ever seen. Mistress Bridget says I disturb the special guest when’s I talk to those no one else sees, but I say that if they’d just open their eyes they’d see’em too, but that just makes Her beat poor little Eddie even harder, and then she laughs at me and makes Ancel put me back in me cage where I sit quietly tryin me damnest to ignore those who ain’t really there, like I’ve been tryin to do to you! Now go away and Leave poor little Eddie alone ‘fore Mistress Bridget sees me talking to no one again.