First Person Survey for: King Salmonella TirMongo Ablegirim Kralovesh Evdokim d'Vulgaria Lord Protector of the Royal Radish, High Overseer of the Caves of the Golden Truffles

Name Given at Birth:  It is the same without all the flourishes

Nicknames: Sal or Mongo

Hometown or where you were born: Pawshlee, Vulgaria

Current Residence: Khaamskee, Vulgaria (the Royal seat of Vulgaria)

Age: 50

Class: Upper-Royal

What do you do, your main function in life/society: Monarchy of Vulgaria (propped up by truffle exports)

Have you ever gone skinny-dipping / do you know how to swim: There is any other way to swim?

Do you make fun of people: Only those that are less "colorful" than us.

Favorite Color: All colors are my favorite. How could I pick just one from so manu delightful colors?

Have you ever committed or been convicted of a crime: I must admit to having stolen a chicken in my youth.

Closest friends/How did you meet: My closest friend before I met my dearest wife was my childhood friend, Dabro. He lived in the hut down from our family, so it was natural that we would eventually meet at the local carp feast. Sadly at the wedding feast he had too much peeva to drink and wandered off with a comely dyevooshka and I have not seen him since.

One Pillow or two: I favor two pillows. Just look at my Queen to know why.

Pets: Ahhhh, that would be my little Abyezyaana (I call him my little Yanni). He is a gift from the Empress of Madagascar

Favorite Type of Music: I love a good polka tune, though I seldom dance anymore. I have come to enjoy some of the music of your country. The Celts have a mystical music and how can one not be stirred by your bagpipes. They remind me so much of our smyearches.

Hobbies/Pastimes: I have come to enjoy traveling to see all the different lands outside of Vulgaria. And buying new things for the Queen and Princess.

Personal Hygiene: I bathe once a month whether I need it or not.

Favorite Food: I am particularly fond of radishes. They seem to go with just about anything.

Are your parents alive, do you get along with them: Being that our peoples are long-lived, both of my parents are alive and currently in charge of the country in our absence. My Father, Pakrat and my Mother, Inkena, have molded me into the man you see before you.

If your parents are dead, when and how did they die: Though they are still alive, I can tell you they will die in true Vulgarina fashion, Sadly though, I can't tell you the details as it is extremely personal.

Favorite place to relax: We have a special garden that is where I go to relax and think.

Favorite Holy Day / Why: Troitsa has always had special spiritual meaning since the Christ came to the disciples and gave them direction. However, Svyaatkee is fun too with all the gifts.

Favorite Drink: I do enjoy a good cup of chai.

What's your bedtime: At home, I stay up a little past sunset. We have a rock that glows at night and allows me to stay up a little later. I also enjoy being outside and looking at the stars.

What, if anything, do you usually wear on your feet: At home, I have a nice tooflya I wear around the castle. But as you can see, I have special bateenak I wear for special times

Are you married or single: I am married and all you have to do is look at my queen to know why I am happily married.

Do you have a family / who are they: As I have mentioned there is my wife, the queen; Queen Citronella Danika Svetlana Zora Helina d'Vulgaria, Light of the Vulgarian realm, Keeper of the Holy Flame. And then there is the light of my life, my daughter Petronella. How can you describe her , but to say she is a dragatsenost.

Favorite Entertainment: I love to sing.

Favorite Subject in School or Chore growing up: We did have a school among the small village I grew up in. It was a school more in practical manners though. I did enjoy learning to hunt wild alyen for special meals.

Least Favorite Subject in School or Chore growing up: I didn't like to milk the kazaa.

Favorite Sport: We made a ball out of the bladder of a sveenya and let it dry and toughen. Then we would take turns throwing it and running with it while others tried to take it from us.

Most Humiliating Moment: While playing our game with the sveenya, Dabro was trying to getit from me and my bryookee came off in front of all the girls.

Proudest Moment: One would think it was the Day I was coronated. But, my two proudest moments are the day I was married and the day our daughter was born. I know it sounds trite, but, all you need to do is look at the two ladies in my life to see why they make me proud all the time.

Craziest Person or silliest you know: Besides myself, I would have to say my Uncle Inets. He does an imitation of an enndyook that has to be seen to be believed.

What do you look for in the opposite sex: Besides a wonderful smile and eyes to lose yourself in, I look for a lady with good child bearing hips.

In our Hierarchical Society everybody has somebody "over" them, Who is your immediate "overlord" I answer to the Holy Trinity.

Favorite Sport to watch: Sveenya tossing.

Do you remember your first kiss: I won't divulge her name (out of self preservation), but, we had been out hunting for wild byelka and there was just something about the way belched that made me look at her in a new way. It was rather a clumsy first attempt, but we practiced a lot and got pretty good at it.

Do you keep in touch with your childhood friends: There are not many that have moved out of Pawshlee. I sometimes get back there, but, it just is not the same anymore. I seem to have more responsibility and we seem to have grown apart.

Where is your favorite "Vacation" spot: Who could not want to vacation at the mudbaths outside of Cluj-napoca in Romania.

Have you ever been overseas: Lately I have been over many seas.

Do you have Dirt/Mud floors or Stone: We have stone floors in the palace.

What is your bed made of:  It is made of the finest khlawpak and filled with kooreetsa down.

How many people sleep in your bed: Only my Queen and I....now.

1. Now don't spread this around, but, I used to sing a lot.

2. I do try and keep up with the latest in modern technology. We just installed some of the newest candles made that burn cleaner.

3. Would you believe that some people think that I can fart the national anthem of Vulgaria?

4. I want people to know that I am a man that believes that we will be treated as we treat others.

5. And that I am trying to improve life in my country.

6. Even though I am 50, many people believe I am much younger than that.

7. I am proud of telling people I am 50, because, in my heart I will always be younger.

8. People should also know that I am secretly a clown, even when I am supposed to be serious.

9. I think it is important for people to know all about my country and the wonders of the truffles that we have.

10. I think radishes are as important as truffles and that they are a living religious relic. As time goes by they will learn even more about me.