Piers Lysander Howard
Name Given at Birth: Piers Howard
Nicknames: I do have but two nicknames, one being a derivative of the other, and when the first came about t’was not meant to be friendly. You see when not needed by His Majesty, when we were young, I had to make useful my free hands and more oft than not I would be assigned to aid the cleaners of the household. Most common, being a small boy able to recover from back breaking work, I was put to the task of helping to clean floors, wood work, walls, and anything else that could be scrubbed with the harsh soap used in all cleaning, lye. This truly showed my status and place in life, unlike others of noble birth who used their free time for entertainment, mine earned my keep with work, and they did not miss a chance to remind me of this. Howe’er, Lye-Scrubber (boring), cleaning boy (really creative) , Lye-Lad (too much like a flower), The Noble Lyer, Lye-Low (not bad), Lord Lye, Le Lye (that was a Frenchman), Earl of Southsoapton (good one I was impressed): these just weren’t truly melodious enough for their ears, and since lye was oft used with sand for a good scrubbing, Lye-Sander it was, to remind me of my proper place. At first I fought this insult, but that only made the teasing worse. So I started to use it as an endearment, and introduced myself as Lysander Howard. Now, only those who know me and are close do use the name of Lysander when addressing me, and those who are in my closest of confidence refer to me only as Lye.
Hometown or where you were born: Arundel Castle in West Sussex
Current Residence: On Progress with His Majesty King Henry VIII
Age: 20
Class: Noble
What do you do, your main function in life/society: My position is in the Royal Court as an Esquire in Ordinary of the King’s Body. Among this honored group there are eight. Throughout the day we fulfill many functions, and rotate duties within our small group. When the King awakes there are six of us present to dress him in chemise, hosen, slippers, and dressing gown. At meal times two Esquires will sit at His Majesty’s feet, in front of the table, or under it as required. Two Esquires will serve the dishes, and another, receiving it from the Chief Butler, presents the cup for drinking. Then two others handle the ewer and basin for His Majesty to wash. These last two mentioned Esquires are in the King’s attendance anywhen to watch day and night, to array and unarray him for whatever activity he wishes. These two are always on hand to carry his cloak, or render His Majesty any similar service. At night one Esquire of the Body is awake while His Majesty sleeps, and holds in his own person the combined powers of the Gentlemen Ushers, the Vice-Chamberlain, and the Lord Great Chamberlain, thus having the absolute command of the house above and below stairs. At this time no business can be done, nor dispatches brought to the King, except through this Esquire. It is considered great privilege to remain in this position, for we are privy to many secrets seeing as we are always by the King’s side.
Have you ever gone skinny-dipping / do you know how to swim: In fact I do know how to swim. I learned against my mothers wishes due to the fact that my Good Father drowned after being wounded in the battle of Breast. As far as skinny-dipping is concerned, leave it said at times the temperatures of air and mood are meet when not clothing.
Do you make fun of people: Honesty must out in honor. Aye, I do partake in entertainment at the expense of others. Howe’er, of this sport I partake not in public arena. In closed chambers, with closest of friends is when I partake, and most often as of late only with Sirrah Demetrius as bull’s rump, oh sorry, target is what I meant to say.
Favorite Color and why? I am partial to the truest color of red. Passion, love, anger and fire, all the strongest emotion befall it. When it does take over sunset, aye and sunrise, a light heart it does bring to me, and a desire to share openly these things with my love Hermia.
Have you ever committed or been convicted of a crime: Never, my cousin Her Most Royal Majesty Queen Anne, nor my Uncle the 3rd Duke of Norfolk would ne’er stand for one of their blood, no matter our right to it, to so much as blemish the Howard name with such haviour. If e’er this happens, that Howard is no longer a Howard.
Closest friends/How did you meet: ‘Tis sad, yet I have not many a friend to speak of, but, speak of the ones I do have, I do with all mine heart. First and foremost among the few is my dear love Hermia. Best friend and closest confidant is she, and hopefully with King’s permission to her I shall be wed. Our meeting I shall ne’er forget. I had seen her on multiple occasion at court, and besotted from the start was I, yet ne’er a moment nor excuse to leave His Majesty had I to bespeak her, and like all others, ne’er did her eye fall to mine lowly status. And so afflicted was I for years, I just knew that I had to meet this beautious Hermia, her name given to me by a ward in her household named Helena. Then chance finally came bout a year ago. I had been awake all night filling duties of Esquire while all others slumbered through that rainy night, and His Majesty had awoken early that morn and sent me on mine way to sleep. I love walking through the palace in that false light of pre-dawn, and so I was simply strolling enjoying the soft patter of the rain when a ghost I did espy in a courtyard. So as to not spook the apparition I quietly moved to the doorway to watch as a ghostly beauty did dance and laugh in the rain, and when I finally saw her face was that of sweet Hermia I began to laugh at the purest chance of my good fortune. Quietly I tried to be so as to not embarrass her, yet fine her hearing is as she turned and spotted me for first time. I like to think we did fall in love that morn, as it truly was the morning of a new time in mine life.
By way of mine search for sweet Hermia I did make my second friend. The sweet tempered Helena. ‘Tis she who I did bespeak to learn the name of my fair Hermia, and t’was her that did not forget mine name in return. Helena suffers similar slight as I, we have both been forgotten in favor of ones above us, and so we have common ground to understand one another, and to aid each other in times of need.
Thirdly, there is the one who I may call friend, howe’er I doubt if that title is returned. I call her friend simply because she is my one family member who has at least taken time to know me, this being the ever sweet Mary Boleyn Stafford. I did meet her afore Queen Anne had His Majesty’s eye, when Mary would await the Kings favor. Oft she would be left to wait for His Majesty in times of pressing business, and so I being a gentleman did keep her company, and being family a threat I was not. In her kindness she has since always remembered mine name, and for me, that is as close to friendship as I could ask.
One Pillow or two: There is room on my collapsible cot for none save one.
Pets: I have but one pet, that being my trustworthy steed, Ambrose. He is a black Irish Draught Stallion with a white streak down his nose. Do not confuse him for a Draft Horse; my Ambrose would never be caught pulling a cart no matter his size. He stands sixteen and a half hands high, has a smooth gait with a quick turn of speed, and loves the hunt almost as much as I do. When I was young I started saving every pence I could to afford my own horse, Ambrose requires not a pennyworth of coin I have, but I would not give him up for the world. Not to mention that when I let her ride him, Hermia’s delight alone is worth any cost to keep. I am trying to convince His Majesty and Sir Charles Brandon to breed Ambrose to his racing mares, course the stud fees, a wealthy gentleman and worthy husband, would make me.
Favorite Type of Music: Anything with a wanton beat and a knavish fingered violinist. If the music makes merry mirth I wish to dance with, enamored of it am I.
Hobbies/Pastimes: I very rarely e’er have time to do as I choose. Anywhen a moment of mine time is not needed by His Majesty I enjoy reading. His Majesty does have many theological manuscripts that he will let his Esquires read so long as we are within his chambers, and he is not reading them. If perchance there is goodly time, I will take Ambrose for a ride, and pray Helena is out by happenstance.
Personal Hygiene: His Majesty King Henry is appalled by those who are not in good keeping or health. So I do follow his example, the days the King washes and bathes are the days I do the same.
Favorite Food – Though I do hate the French for the death of my father, I must say my favorite repast has its origins there. My palate waters when I see a crepe filled with hot ham, apples, and cheese, all topped with chopped walnuts. I am excited to hear that a very crafty cook in Canterbury has learned the secrets of such a delicacy, and can not wait to see if it is true!
Are your parents alive, do you get along with them: My Good Father, Sir Edward Howard, Knight of the Garter, Admiral of His Majesty’s Royal Navy is most unfortunately deceased. I did never know him for he did pass from this world one month afore I did come to it. My Good Mother, Alice Lovell the Baroness of Morely is still alive and well.
If your parents are dead, when and how did they die: Sir Edward Howard died on St. Mark’s Day the 25th of April, in the year of our Lord 1513. As afore mentioned he did die at sea in the Battle of Brest against the French. My Father the Admiral did take the Royal fleet against the French and they being upon the retreat were pushed against shore. Howe’er, erring on the side of safety, my Father not knowing the French shoreline nor ability of the new French galley did take 4 Captains, himself, and 160 men to board the French galleys with the help of boats, the water being to shallow for ships. The French galleys were protected on both sides by bulwarks planted so thick with guns and crossbows that the quarrels and gonstons came at them as thick as hailstones. For all this my Father, the Admiral, boarded the galley that the French Admiral, Preyer John, was on. By advice of my Father they had cast anchor onto deck of the French galley, and had fastened the cable to the capstan, that if any of the galleys had been on fire they might have veered the cable and fallen off; but the French hewed asunder the cable, or some of our mariners let it slip. So they left my most brave and noble father in the hands of his enemies. It is said that my lord Father, the Admiral, had been thrast against the rails of the galley with morris pikes, and heard crying to his ships, "Come aboard again! Come aboard again!" which when my Father saw they could not, he took his whistle from about his neck, wrapped it together and threw it into the sea. If this were not insult enough to my lord and Father, the French then lifted him up on their pikes and threw him overboard, for all loyal Englishmen to witness. Then my Father being weighed by his armor, did drown. The French had my Father’s body embalmed and entered though we know not where. To Princess Claude of France went my Father’s Armor when she did ask for it as a memorial of the so called French Victory. His Badge of Office and Admirals’ silver whistle were in possession of Her Majesty Anne of Brittany, Queen of France, and have hence been lost in her death.
Favorite place to relax: In the arms of my beloved Hermia, ‘tis where I can forget all rules of court intrigue and speak of proper places. When held by her I know my proper place is in her arms.
Favorite Holy Day / Why: ‘Tis hard to say a Holy day is a favorite when it means you must work harder than any normal day. Holy Days must have twice the pomp as any normal, and His Majesty must be surrounded by perfection. Leave it said, my favorite holy day is none.
Favorite Drink: A warm mug of mulled wine is most welcome up on my palate at any hour. ‘Tis a simple drink when it comes to such things in the palace, but mayhap simple is best.
What's your bedtime? Ne’er afore His Majesty the King does bed down for the night. Howe’er, when ‘tis my turn for Night Esquire, then ne’er afore His Majesty does wake.
What, if anything, do you usually wear on your feet? Good sturdy leather boots. One ne’er knows when His Majesty will decide to go for a ride or hunting, and it is usually in best interests to always be prepared. In this way, dressing myself in proper attire is not a hindrance while attempting to dress His Majesty.
Are you married or single? Very incredibly unhappily unmarried. This is of course not for lack of trying. If Hermia’s father, the iron-witted clodpate, would just realize that I am best match for her, then happily married wouldst I be. I would sooner live in France than marry any other woman or see Hermia wed any Lord or Nobleman save myself.
Do you have a family / who are they? I do have my mother Alice Lovell the Baroness of Morely. My brother Algernon Howard who when my father died was given into the care of our uncle Sir Edmond Howard His Majesty’s ambassador to Spain, as I was in to the care of His Majesty the Late King Henry VII may he rest in peace. Then there is my half-brother Henry Parker, my mother’s only son from her first marriage and inheritor of my Father’s only estate of Morely, and his family including my nephew Sir Henry Parker and nieces Alice and Jane Parker. Of course one must mention my dear cousins the Boleyn’s. Her Majesty Queen Anne, Mary, and George are cousins from my father’s eldest sister. T’would seem that I could claim to be well connected, yet for all my family at court hardly any recognize my existence, and few recall my name.
Favorite Entertainment: In His Majesty’s company one ne’er lacks divers amusements. Theatre, music, the King’s Fool, the gentry who caper like hounds for the most smallest ort of the King’s favor. Oh aye, marry sport mayhap these be, but favorite I name them not. Mine favorite is one of surprise and spontaneity. When we masked men of mystery with heigh-ho burst into the Queen’s chambers, the Maidens to rescue from impending doom. Then a dance they give’n thanks to their Heroes, always an opportunity to terry publicly a loving couple with none the wiser. Thusly the Masque Ball ‘tis not only a favorite of the King, but my enjoyment as well.
Favorite Subject in School or Chore growing up? : It is not easy to choose but one. I would first have to say that I was lucky enough to have been provided an education at all. O’course, when one is schooled in the same household as His Majesty King Henry, the late Arthur Tudor, and Charles Brandon, all classes and chores are enjoyable and fun. The three of them made every study and chore an adventure, and though I was the tag along, and very much so treated like the little unwanted brother, I was there ne’er the less. I guess the subject I enjoyed the most would then have to be the one I was not only present for, but participated in as well, fight lessons. Seeing as how there were in fact four of us, this was the only time one of those three had to pair up and spar with me. At this time I was no longer a shadow, but a partner. Indeed, I very seldom ever won being four years younger than His Majesty, and 12 years Charles’ junior, but I was treated as equal among that trio during fight lessons. That was until Prince Arthur died, then it was only His Majesty and Charles, and I was left on the side, forgotten again.
Least Favorite Subject in School or Chore growing up? That would be the nights that it is my turn at Night duty among the Esquires. On these nights I must be awake, while the rest of the court slumbers away, to be ready to wake His Majesty if need be, and take care of any minor duties above and below stairs that arise in the wee hours. These are long nights, and when the King does rise, and I do sleep, then I miss much of the next day. This howe’er is not always such a horrid thing. For you see, I’m awake while no other eyes are about, and that leaves time to court my love, sweet Hermia. While we are never inappropriate, it does give us leave to spend a bit of time together. Ne’er long, else we would be discovered by her sleep deprived mind the next day.
Favorite Sport (to do): The Joust if I could gain Knighthood to compete in t’would be my favorite. Alack, seeing as how I have not, I do not. There are others that require no title, and coin only to place a wager with. I enjoy Bowles and tennis as man to man competition. Howe’er, greater sport the most adept dare play, else the art one might forsake. The sport of posey per se, rhythms and rhymes to make, to flip phrase in more creative way, more skill and guile not laborsome sport take.
Most Humiliating Moment:
Proudest Moment:
Craziest Person or silliest you know: Lord Henry Demetrius Percy, heir to the Earldom of Northumberland. The most idle-headed Lord, he doth believe he hath an honest chance to gain my Hermia’s hand in marriage. ‘Tis the most ridiculous thing ears did ever hear. To think that true love will not triumph is great folly, especially since His Majesty did marry Queen Anne. Surely they will not stand by and let one be married to one they do not love when love stands by their side.
What do you look for in the opposite sex: First and foremost, I look for a woman who does not seek titles, land, nor wealth for I have none. While it is meet for a woman to seek such things, I am attracted to the woman who seeks love for love alone. The woman who will not wait to learn to love the one they marry, but who will only marry the one they love.
I am attracted to educated women who are quick of wit and well versed. Mine heart leaps for those who are quick to laugh in joy, and enjoy life for all it’s little pleasures. In personality, I am attracted to one like the Dogwood tree. Simply intricate and ever changing, supple yet strong while it flowers and blooms. While it will yield to the wind, it will never break for if pushed to hard it will snap back.
Dark hair, eyes that sparkle, and light of complexion, these are what will always catch mine eye. When she walks in public, she is composed and graceful, but never the feeling of superiority does she give. Yet in private, she is carefree and cares not if a clumberton she be, and when she is, she does laugh at herself, and not be angry if I join in.
While it may seem I dream of unrealistic things, I assure you I do not. I have not set an impossible ideal that no woman can ever live up to. For you see, I have found this woman, the one I can love for the rest of my life. I call her Hermia, my love, my heart, my life.
In our Hierarchical Society everybody has somebody "over" them. Who is your immediate "overlord": Foremost His most Royal Majesty King Henry VIII, secondly his betrothed Her Majesty my cousin Queen Anne Boleyn.
How Do You Feel about that person: I love them with all my heart. When I was 5 and he 9 I was put into His Majesty’s service as playmate and page by his father the Late King Henry VII. Like an older brother to me His Majesty was. I owe him my life and being in more ways than there are stars. Her Majesty is blood cousin to me, and has been nothing but kind, ne’er once treating me as a bastard of a Howard. I find it an honor to love and serve her.
Favorite Sport to watch: ‘Tis a tie betwixt the Joust and the Horse Race. I guess t’would be meet to say I enjoy watching sport of horses. The thrill of a pass in a Joust that takes a man off his horse, the way your heart leaps with the break of lance against armor. The pounding of hooves as horses charge full tilt to the finish with jockeys lash whipping the air. Not to mention all are good for a bet or two and a chance to add some coin to one’s purse.
Do you remember your first kiss? Aye, indeed I remember it well. I was a lad of but 14 years, and we were wintering at Hampton Court Palace, it was December in the year of our lord 1527. ‘Tis no secret His Majesty enjoys a Masque Ball, and at this particular masque we gentleman were portraying the Lords of the Dawn seeking to rescue the Winter Queen and her Snow Ladies from Midnight the Dark Knight. Normally, a challenge it is not to identify the ladies of court, imagine our surprise when at this masque they were completely identical as snowflakes are not, and none of the Dawn could discern one lady from another. T’was in this state that I did receive mine first kiss, from a Lady Snowflake masqued and in disguise. We were dancing a round where after parting from your partner we run together to clasp hands, and she decided to clasp lips instead. I must say I was not distressed over this action, howe’er, I would have liked it more had I but known which lady t’was. To this day I still know not who gave me that sweet gift.
Do you keep in touch with your childhood friends? For one to keep in touch wouldst one not mean for t’other to recall and remember ones personage? If this be case, then no I do not. Mine eye does see them daily almost, yet glance past me they do. ‘Tis my lot in life, and content I may ne’er be, yet resigned to it am I.
Where is your favorite "Vacation" spot? Within mine bed, under the covers, and behind mine eyes is where my only "vacation" takes place. Dream of marvelous wonderful places canst I, yet the time in waking world to visit I have not, nor have I the coin or ability to take.
Have you ever been overseas: When His Majesty’s progress or affairs of state require sea travel, I do accompany him. It might be my imagination, but methinks, just mayhap I have inherited my father’s love of the salted seas. When on deck of ship I can always imagine what it must have been to be the Admiral of His Majesty’s Navy, to sail these seas to battle, at times I canst close my eyes and imagine he is sailing with me.
Do you have Dirt/Mud floors or Stone: It does depend upon the palace and rooms we are staying in. More oft than not the floors are stone, howe’er some renovations have laid marble.
What is your bed made of: The frame ‘tis wood with cording to hold the mattress, and legs that can be removed so the bed can be easily stowed out o’sight of waking hours. A simple cotton mattress tops it, though when it wears thin the cords grate one’s back. All things must be able to be stowed and put away quickly for my bed is set in the King’s privy chamber.
How many people sleep in your bed: Myself only, His Majesty would ne’er stand for his Gentlemen to share beds with anyone within his chambers.
10 Things Everybody Should Know About Me
1. I am in love with Hermia. Not the kind of love that is e’er forgotten if unfulfilled, nay, ‘tis the kind of Love that His Majesty has for the Queen, love that is strong enough to overturn a kingdom, dissolve a church, and perforce be met.
2. I may be beneath Lord Demeatrius’s notice, but I will not be so base for long. He shall know me when I ask the King’s permission to marry Hermia the morning of the Harvest Festival in Canterbury.
3. The plight of dear Helena, a baubling my troubles doth make. Whereas I have the love of mine so beloved, hers in shadows does stay. That simpkin Demetrius so burned by my fair sun, the gentle rays of the lonely moon he harkens not.
4. I own two things in this world, mine heart and mine horse. Mine heart has been freely given to the keeping of Hermia, and I would give mine horse for freedom to marry the keeper of mine heart.
5. I have served His Majesty in similar services and positions for 15 long years, while I love my position in Court and am grateful to have been fed and cared for, forgotten I can not help but feel. Afeared am I that His Majesty has grown so accustomed to my presence that he no longer takes note o’it.
6. ‘Tis not only His Majesty who notes my personage not. The majority of court pays as much heed to my presence as one wouldst a shadow. In sooth, I believe The Royal shadow is remarked on more oft than I am recognized as being quick and breathing.
7. If perforce I must, behind my life I shall leave, and with Hermia a new life I shall forge in foreign land. Knowing fully that welcome in the lands held by England I shall ne’er be again.
8. I am no servant, nor groom, nor knave. By birthright alone I am not near so base, my position is higher than lowly hired-hand. Indeed I do aid in work below stairs when asked by the Lord Great Chamberlain, but ‘tis better to get ones hands dirty with low work, than deal with His Majesty’s temper when his household is cleansed not and functions not smoothly.
9.
10. I am not on duty to serve his Majesty during the Harvest Festival. Indeed I have traded duties so I may spend the first day of my betrothal beside mine beloved.