Punchtavella Rutabaga Rotella Zasha Boom Choot Choot De Vulgar
Name Given at Birth: Rotella Zasha Punch
When I became the Vulgarian Guard I took the name: Punchtavella Rutabaga Rotella Zasha Boom Choot Choot De Vulgar
Nicknames: Punch, Bum Bum, and T.P.- T. for Triptavella, other guard, and P. for me, Punchtavella
Hometown or where you were born: Kaamskee, Vulgaria
Current Residence: Canterbury, England continuing my duty to protect the wonderful Vulgarian Family
Age: 16
Class: Royal Guard
What do you do, your main function in life/society: - Protecting the Vulgarian Family from the English - Killing - Kicking the snot out of people who get in my way…
Have you ever gone skinny-dipping / do you know how to swim: once when I was 12, I was dared to go skinny dipping in the pond behind our cottage. Lets just say I learned how to swim that day.
Do you make fun of people: Most people are bigger than me. However I just like to say, " You are big, I am mean."
Favorite Color: I love all colors, but pink the most. Pink is the color of war in Vulgaria.
Have you ever committed or been convicted of a crime: what haven’t I committed, at 14 I had killed 17 people.
Closest friends/How did you meet: Triptavella, the other guard. We met when we were in training to become warriors for the Vulgarian army. After, Triptavella heard of my story, my parents dieing and me living on my own she decided to take me in, we have been great friends ever since.
One Pillow or two: two, one soft and comfortable pillow to sleep on and one hard and lumpy one to hit people with if they try enter my room or sleep in my bed.
Pets: my kazaa named Agooryets, pickle for when she was born she looked like a little pickle and my abyezyaana named Ookoos which means bite, he likes to nibble on fingers
Favorite Type of Music: I enjoy singing and playing my flute therefore my favorite music is my own
Hobbies/Pastimes: Fighting
Personal Hygiene: I must stay very clean for if I smelt no one would want to come near me therefore I won’t have anyone to kill.
Favorite Food: Beef.
Are your parents alive, do you get along with them: No they are not. My mother taught me how to use a stick. My father taught me how to punch or fight. Therefore I had a great relationship with my moma and papa
If your parents are dead, when and how did they die: They were poisoned. Therefore I set out to become a strong person, to find the persons who poisoned my moma and papa.
Favorite place to relax: My family’s personal burial ground
Favorite Holy Day / Why: My birthday for I receive new pikes, swords, and many other weapons
Favorite Drink: Cranberry juice for it reminds me of blood however it tastes better then blood though
What's your bedtime: 8:00 pm, I need my beauty sleep. I need to be beautiful to attract the men so I can then kill them
What, if anything, do you usually wear on your feet: Big black boots
Are you married or single: single, I’m not sure if I want the duty to have to protect a man along with the Vulgarian Family
Do you have a family / who are they: I had a family, now I just have the Vulgarians and my great friend Triptavella
Favorite Entertainment: Fight, killing, anything that involves pain
Favorite Subject in School or Chore growing up: Math, I was always good at math and I don’t know why or how
Least Favorite Subject in School or Chore growing up: writing, I can’t really spell
Favorite Sport: wrestling
Most Humiliating Moment: The day after I got my pet monkey, I was very gaseous. Long story short, I farted and my monkey passed out.
Proudest Moment: My 12th kill which allowed me to become a guard for the wonderful Vulgarian Family
Craziest Person or silliest you know: Princess Scarabella, not because she is silly or crazy but because she just isn't like the other Vulgarians. I guess it’s good to be different, but I’m still don’t understand why she won’t cover herself in color. She is still beautiful though.
What do you look for in the opposite sex: Tall, dark, handsome, and tough enough to not cry when I threaten him with my pike
In our Hierarchical Society everybody has somebody "over" them, Who is your immediate "overlord" : King Salmonella and Queen Rubella
Favorite Sport to watch: Wrestling, I love fighting
Do you remember your first kiss: Never really had one for I killed the first man who tried
Do you keep in touch with your childhood friends: no really, but I would if I had the time. It seems like I’m always training to be badder, bigger, and tough. I guess I have to stay tough though to protect the Vulgarian Family.
Where is your favorite "Vacation" spot: A warm sandy beach in the middle of nowhere
Have you ever been overseas: Yes
Do you have Dirt/Mud floors or Stone: My floors are dirt, dirt covered by a rainbow rug
What is your bed made of: My bed is stuffed with kooreetsa and the sheets are made of cotton
How many people sleep in your bed: 1, no one else even steps foot into my room let alone my bed
10 Things Everybody Should Know About Me:
1. If I don’t like you, get as far away as possible
2. Don’t get on my bad side
3. You should be scared of me
4. I’m little
5. I’m young
6. I’m mean
7. I’ll hurt you
8. I enjoy killing
9. I carry a big stick
10. And I know how to use it