Name Given at Birth: Portabella Enyets
Primochenko Rutabaga Reznya D’Vulgar
Nicknames: Porta, Primo, Eny, and Cookie.
Hometown or where you were born: Pawshlee, Vulgaria
Current Residence: Khaamskee, Vulgaria (the Royal seat of Vulgaria).
Age: 40
Class: Upper-Royal. I am the Kings brother after all.
What do you do, your main function in life/society: I am the Prime Minister of War. For some reason most people think that means I cause havoc, and mayhem. My real function though, is to oversee the day to day operations of our mighty military. This would, on rare occasions include the chance to plan, and wage war.
Have you ever gone skinny-dipping / do you know how to swim: And I thought everyone called this a bathe.
Do you make fun of people: Mainly the English. They are not strong enough to use a stick in battle, and must cover themselves up in metal for fear of getting hurt.
Favorite Color: I have many favorite colors. An easier question would be my least favorite color, which would be grey.
Have you ever committed or been convicted of a crime: I have no convictions on my record. The King is my brother.
Closest friends/How did you meet: My closest friend is my trusted friend, and advisor General Borskov. We met during the Great Radish Famines, and the following wars.
One Pillow or two: I have as many pillows as I want.
Pets: My only real pet is my trusty steed, a magnificent war goat that I named Portochella
Favorite Type of Music: I love the Scottish Bag pipes as they are an instrument of war.
Hobbies/Pastimes: My favorite pastime is trying to get rocks to fly. They tend to not stay in the air for very long even though some of them are many times lighter than some birds that manage to stay in the air. I do think I am close to finding out the secret though.
Personal Hygiene: I have found that with all my travels I must bathe at least twice a week. More often when in England.
Favorite Food: I always enjoy a nice radish. They seem to go with everything, and are just enjoyable as a meal on their own.
Are your parents alive, do you get along with them: Both of my parents are alive and well. My Father Pakrat is running the day to day dealings with the government in my brothers absence, and my Mother Inkena is training the up and coming potential Royal Guards. She is very good with the sticks, and taught me all I know about tactics.
If your parents are dead, when and how did they die: They are both still alive, and will be around for a very long time.
Favorite place to relax: I really enjoy the royal radish patch, but my favorite place is a small spring just outside of Khaamskee.
Favorite Holy Day / Why: Svyaatkee (Christmastide) is currently my favorite. I enjoy the noise.
Favorite Drink: I love to relax at the end of the day with a bottle of radish wine.
What's your bedtime: I usually try to get to bed before the midnight hour.
What, if anything, do you usually wear on your feet: I can usually be seen wearing my favorite shoes. They are a nice golden color, and have pointy, curly toes.
Are you married or single: I am currently single.
Do you have a family / who are they: My family would include my Brother Salmonella, the King and his family. I might have time to settle down and start my very own after the dispute with England is concluded. My Brother tells me that the English Queen is actually a very nice lady. I might look into that since for some reason my Brother seems to approve of her.
Favorite Entertainment: I always enjoy a nice stick fight.
Favorite Subject in School or Chore growing up: I always enjoyed the hunting lessons, but my all time favorite subject while growing up has to be math. It has served me well over the years.
Least Favorite Subject in School or Chore growing up: I always hated the feeding of the swine.
Favorite Sport: I always enjoyed playing truffle ball.
Most Humiliating Moment: I would have to say that it was the day I tripped over Queen Rubella’s skirts while addressing our military during a ceremonial occasion. Luckily two of my most trusted Royal guards were there to break my fall. Unfortunately they broke my fall right back into my Queen. That was when my Brother, the King told me I could not have his woman, and must find my own.
Proudest Moment: That would have to be the day my Brother was elected as King of Vulgaria.
Craziest Person or silliest you know: That would have to be my Brothers daughter, Scarabella. She enjoys trying to entertain everyone by dressing in drab colors. She thinks that it makes everyone else look brighter. We all laugh when she walks into the room.
What do you look for in the opposite sex: I enjoy a woman that knows how to handle a traditional stick weapon in a fight.
In our Hierarchical Society everybody has somebody "over" them, Who is your immediate "overlord" I report only to my Brother, the King.
Favorite Sport to watch: Sveenya wrestling has got to be at the top of my list.
Do you remember your first kiss: I wish I didn’t. I missed completely, and kissed the girls nose.
Do you keep in touch with your childhood friends: Most, unfortunately moved far away during the Great Radish famine.
Where is your favorite "Vacation" spot: I have my own private cottage near a small town by the Black Sea.
Have you ever been overseas: I have in my years as Prime Minister of War been to many lands, so I would have to say yes.
Do you have Dirt/Mud floors or Stone: Only the finest stone floors.
What is your bed made of: I have a bed made from the finest goose down.
How many people sleep in your bed: I am currently the only one sleeping in my bed.
10 Things Everybody Should Know About Me:
I am looking forward to pitting the Vulgarian military might against the weak troops of the English.
I have been perfecting the art of stick fighting as taught to me by my Mamala for many years now.
I fear the English will back down when presented with our military might.
I am extremely proud of our eight Royal Guards. They are currently a match for any 1000 troops the English can field, and will only get better with time.
I am looking forward to finally meeting this Queen that my Brother still speaks highly of even after the insults her country has hurled at Vulgaria.
I really do enjoy training Prince Trichinella in both the art of the sticks, and tactics even though he tends to drop his stick when distracted. One day he might be able to take my place as the Vulgarian Prime Minister of War.
I love to sing, but my singing voice makes even the bravest person cringe in fear.
For some reason I have amazing grace when fighting a battle, but am extremely clumsy in dance.
I am very concerned that Princess Scarabella feels she must keep us all in good cheer all the time by dressing so drab.
In all honesty I fear that I may never learn the secret to making rocks fly.