Captain 'Cutthroat' Kelley

Name Given at Birth: Charles Kelley

Nicknames: Captain, Cap'n, Skipper, Boss, Cutthroat (tho not to me face more 'an once)

Hometown or where you were born: Port Royal, Jamaica

Current Residence: Me ship, The Crimson Revenge

Age: O, some where abouts two score is me best guess

Class: I've earned me some respect amongst the Brethren, but here in England I be an outlaw and traveller.

What do you do, your main function in life/society: It be me sworn duty to, uh, ree-diss-tur-boot wealth from those that have some to those that don't... an as me an' me crew don't be havin' none, we do be keepin' what treasure we... uh, liberate.

Have you ever gone skinny-dipping / do you know how to swim: o'course I been skinny-dippin'. As a lad, me and me mates would get relief from the heat o' the day by takin' a dip in the harbor. The mistress would tan me hide if I'd a come home with me clothes drippin' wet. Aye, I can swim. 'Twould be a bloody fool to be goin' out to sea and not be knowin' how to swin.

Do you make fun of people: Ever chance I get. Me favorite joke be seeing how much they quake in their boots with a musket in their face.

Favorite Color: Gold, though I likes me some silver too.

Have you ever committed or been convicted of a crime: How much time 'ave ye got? Piracy, murder, theft, trespassin', arson, obstructin' the Queen's justice, impersonatin' an officer o' the Royal Navy (both Spanish and English), slavery, aidin' the escape o' slaves, sellin' property what I didn't own, takin' indecent liberties, pandering, improper disposin' of rubbish, and sailing too fast in a 'no wake' zone.

Closest friends/How did you meet:

• Rodrigo Boleyn: I got me ship from him. Won it in a dice game. I took mercy on the boy an' took him on as First Mate. We been liberatin' cargo betwixt England and the Spanish Main for nigh on five years now. He be good with a blade an' pistol, but gots no head fer figures so he's happy to crew for me. Our current "commision" was arranged through his sister Belladonna and his brother Martin (Maestro).
• Powderkeg Flint: He been crewin' for me the longest. We was both crew mates on the pirate ship Bachelor's Delight and was the first to hire on after I won the Revenge. He's got the most wicked temper o' anyone I e're met, but you be not findin' a better man in a fight.
• Scuttlebutt Billy: The lad acts a fool most times, but he's got a good heart, loyal, an' he be the best pickpocket this side o' Jamaica.

One Pillow or two: I keep me a pillow or three that was liberated from a French lady what was a passenger on a ship we took.

Pets: Does Scuttlebutt Billy count?

Favorite Type of Music: Oh, I likes me a drinkin' song here an' there, but me favorite song is the snap o' sails, the wind in the sheets and the creak o' the hull.

Hobbies/Pastimes: bouncin' a comely lass on me knee, breakin' open a cask o' rum an' countin' me treasure

Personal Hygiene: The Mistress taught me to always wash me face an' hands in the morn and before supper and I does me Christian duty and bathe on Christmas an' Easter.

Favorite Food: roast chicken, hot an' spicy like the Mistress served on Sundays.

Are your parents alive, do you get along with them: Never knew who me father was. Me mother was a trollop what worked for The Mistress at the Catt an' Fiddle in Port Royal.

If your parents are dead, when and how did they die: Can't say 'bout me father, but me mother died o' the cholera when I was a boy. The Mistress raised me after that.

Favorite place to relax: On the poop deck, with the wind at me back, and a clear night sky to navigate.

Favorite Holy Day / Why: December 6th, the feast of St. Nicholas, Patron of sailors and thieves.

Favorite Drink: I do likes me rum and ale, but Rodrigo makes a mulled wine called Hippocras that does curl me toes.

What's your bedtime: depends on if I have the watch or not

What, if anything, do you usually wear on your feet: stout leather boots

Are you married or single: Single. The Mistress taught me that a man's appetite cannot be slake with only one dish.

Do you have a family / who are they: Me crew be the closest to family that I have. They be me brothers an' me children.

Favorite Entertainment: watchin' the merchant lubbers as they be tryin' to out sail the Revenge.

Favorite Subject in School or Chore growing up: I loved serving rum and ale to the patrons o' the Catt and Fiddle when I was a lad. I could listen to the sailors tell the tales o' their battles and 'ventures.

Least Favorite Subject in School or Chore growing up: emptyin' the chamber pots.

Favorite Sport: pistol practice, seagulls when they be about or bottles o' rum when they not, after drinkin' the rum o' course.

Most Humiliating Moment: when I was a lad o' 12 and fancied to stow away on the pirate ship Snapdragon. I was found before the ship left port, beat bloody and tossed overboard.

Proudest Moment: Years later, sinkin' the Snapdragon and killin' her captain. It be why I named the ship Crimson Revenge.

Craziest Person or silliest you know: Billy

What do you look for in the opposite sex: an ample chest and sunny disposition

In our Hierarchical Society everybody has somebody "over" them, Who is your immediate "overlord" : The Sea, the Wind and The Stars.

Favorite Sport to watch: wenches competitin' for a patron

Do you remember your first kiss: Growin' up in a brothel? Not hardly.

Do you keep in touch with your childhood friends: There be a few back in Port Royal that still live, but 'tis not often that we make that port.

Where is your favorite "Vacation" spot: Countin' me treasure and I'll not be tellin' where I be doin' that.

Have you ever been overseas: ere ye daft? Ship Captain.

Do you have Dirt/Mud floors or Stone: the decks o' the Revenge be made o' wood.

What is your bed made of: wood like most o' me boat with a feather mattress also liberated from that French lady.

How many people sleep in your bed: Just me. Bad luck for women to be on a ship. (Jenny don't count as she be worth any two men I know)

10 Things Everybody Should Know About Me:

1. I be Captain o' the pirate ship Crimson Revenge.

2. I was raised in a brothel and have a soft spot in me heart for trollops. I will not stand for them to be mistreated.

3. It is said that the Crimson Revenge takes no captives and leaves none alive.

4. The Mistress taught me to read and do sums so as not to be cheated.

5. I'm a fair captain and treat my men well. They follow me for profit, not fear.

6. I'm the only one that really understands what Scuttlebutt Billy says.

7. I've got no love for the English, but I hate the French and Spanish.

8. I fancy myself a fashionable dresser. Make sport of my clothes and you'll find yourself on the business end of a pistol or blade.

9. I won me ship gambling. Some say I cheated.

10. I'm called "Cutthroat" for the way I killed the captain of the Snapdragon.

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